Thursday, January 28, 2010

I never forget...

special to all my best friends

My days were changed
slightly happy and more colorful
because you are my friends

I never forget the way you smile
I never forget your face when you upset
I never forget when you change your mood

Especially how you treat me
Stay beside when I need someone to share
the way you comfort me when I feel bad
Support me when I feel weak
And hold my hand when I feel lost

Even we are far away and cant meet face to face
But through your words I still can feel that you care
Here.. deep inside in my heart
I keep you and bring you wherever I go

Nothing I could give you
Just a pray, n wish I will always be there for you if you need me too
we will never stop to support each other
the way to show that we care
coz I couldn't hold your hand in real

thank u for all that you do friends... i really appreciate it

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Without words the story will be end

Sometimes people thinks that other were mind reader. Knowing what they want even left unspoken, by trust, by reading gesture,or other thing except words. They never realized that when someone looks like reading their mind, they only guess. And their guess sometimes could be right but it could be wrong.

Just imagine, you left in a room with a person. Just sit together without words. The person look at you but say nothing, just smile. You will guess that the person don't like you bother her and just want to be polite with you and give you smile. But it could be wrong, maybe the person just wait you begin a conversation, because she were afraid to begin.

Thats always happen in our life, people just waiting other speak and they will follow, its hard for someone to volunteer make a nice conversation. They are afraid to have feeling rejected by others when others dont give them the proper answer.So they choose to keep quiet for their own sake. But won't you ever think, that without word will never be next episode? You cant have a good friend without saying anything.You wont know someone love you if both of you just waiting.You will never know, that you and your friend still thinking each other without words sent?

Words are important things in our life. Speak or write it clearly to show up your feeling. Keeping in your heart and thinking that other will understand us it will be impossible things. Without words the story will be end. Without words you will loose your chance to get a long with other person. And when you realized this, it was too late. So try .... sending words rather than keep quiet and hope other read your mind

Monday, January 18, 2010


Inspired by Kelly Clarkson song Breakaway,

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.....

When life was so hard for us, when no one could we ask for help, we need to keep fight by our self. With pieces of our confidence that still left, with a little hope in our heart. Even we feel alone and lonely, sometimes feel desperate, but believe there will be a way to reach our happiness, someday, somewhere.

I remembered when I was young, I have a dream, sometimes it looks impossible, sometimes I felt broken heart also, but then finally I find the way to continue my step, even in lots of tears and many difficulties. That time I wrap all the bitterness in my smile and never give up to fight. I also wrote a poem about bird that have hurt in its wings but still try to fly.

Now, when we growing older, some problem become harder to solve. We take care many hearts and sometimes must forget our feeling. And its more difficult to find someone we can share. But it doesn't mean our day will always cloudy. When no one can help us, just make our self cool down whenever we meet a hard problem, make the proper decision as good as we can. Not only good for others but also good for us. Sometimes we only think about other heart but never aware with our own need. It will throw us in the deepest hurt and unhappiness. So starting now we must BREAKAWAY this thinking. We deserve to be happy, and other must respect our need too. Will be great if we can find a win-win solution

Always hope this time we could breakaway our sorrow, we can find the wings to fly, to touch the sky even on the storm n rainy day

Monday, January 11, 2010

Lonely.... finnaly only our shadow that will never leave

Alone and lonely... or in the crowd but still lonely...
Many friends talked about it lately, I don't know, its such a lonely season. Why people feeling lonely? I try to find out the answer, because when I said I'll accompany you, they said its different. So, I got the answer, they feeling lonely because someone who have the closest place in their heart make a distance, and sure it can't be replace by anyone.

I could understand that kind of feeling, when we built a close relationship with a friend, they will color our day. Sharing many things that can make us smile and share burden when we get in trouble. It become a "need". So whenever the relationship become loser, not tight as before, we feel like missing something and make us incomplete. That time we start feeling lonely.

So how to cure this feeling? Realize what friend mean in our life. Let me make an illustration, if we think a friendship like we have a perfect dinner. We have an appetizer, main course and then desert. An appetizer, usually people only take it a little before main course, main course.. we always wait this, and dessert only take it if we feel not full enough. So where the friendship mean to us?

Friend as an appetizer, we need it just to prepare something big behind the appetizer, like we want to join a group of a community and then we need a friend to make us comfort with the new community. As main course we will see a friend as an important part, we wait and longing to have every time. And last as a dessert, we have it when we feel not enough with what we have before. Thats just a foolish illustration, but at least we could have an imagination what a friend mean to u and vice versa.

Remember one thing, feeling is something that easy to change, spoken or unspoken. So u can feel it. When your friend begin not so care with you, busy and forget you, means you are not the main course anymore. They'll close to you again only when they feel incomplete and need u to complete their life. Whenever they already feel complete, they won't treat you as before. Anyone have their own reason to build their friendship, so enjoy your time as long as you can, and whenever it change don't be too disappointed and too sad until put u in a deep lonely. Find a way to chase away your loneliness, and whenever you meet a new friend, u must aware that could be happen the same thing again and again. Prepare your self always.

Ok lets find a way not to feeling lonely. The one things, make your mind busy or make ur self physically tired. Thinking and have physical activities something can throw our lonely feeling even only a while. But one important thing we must realize and accept that friend will not stay same forever, as people change, feeling can come and go, friend can be close but then can be far also. Even though we ever have so close friendship but it isn't mean forever, someday they will leave you too, soon or later. Many of friendship will close only when we have same aim, same time, same need. When we and our friend can have the same need, they will work well.

But when we start to have something that make our mind busy, maybe you will loosen ur friendship, and it could be happen to your friend also. In that situation, we or our friend have no enough time anymore to think about friends' feeling, they need us or not, its too busy and not enough space in our day. So, if before your friend can give you a shoulder to cry on, and never stop to support you, now maybe you will feel that your best friend will as far as your ordinary friend. That's the reality. Never hope to have the sweet moments for a long time, anytime "party will be over", set no hurt feeling, just keep the sweet moments in your heart, maybe someday will be another party with your friend, but don't hope too much.

Come on girls, stay awake from your dreams, don't hurt yourself by thinking too much. Feeling too sad when your close friend only have once a week to say hi. Or whenever you get an difficulty your friend seem not care. Even you ever have a nice commitment, but many things could happen, so all things just left as words. Remember... finally only our shadow that never leave us alone, that will know your happiness and ur sadness always. So keep fight by yourself... don't always think your best friend will always beside. Face this REALITY

wrote this post when finally I realized my party was over n leave all in my memories only

Thursday, January 7, 2010

When someone through the net make you cry...

Nowadays, interaction between people not only comes from real life. With a good internet connection, mostly we spent our days with, we meet many new friends there. Some of them become so close with us, even though we only meet once or twice in the real world or even haven't meet yet.

Deep relationship built here whenever we feel that we can trust a friend we meet online. We share many things, happiness or even sadness. But sometimes we disappointed then. Not like in a real world we can meet personally face in face, make us can keep in touch with warm way, like smile, say hi, give hug or other, build a relationship through net are different. I think need more effort..

Learning from a friend, who always sent her friend message through the wall in facebook, with a personal touch, make me think, she really a good friends. And I think all her friend who receive her message will happy and feel her care (Honestly I am the one who feel like that) and will give their care back to her. But sometimes it doesn't work also. After we did our efforts they even not care, not reply or ignore our message.

Other problem comes, when we have a misunderstanding with your friend. Trying through explain through mail sometimes not work, even make worse. They dont get what we mean, and then start to hurt each other more. Worse, if then not only we and ur friend, but others involve in your problem.

When someone asking me about this I don't know also what is the best solution, but for me I have some idea:
1. Try to send an email, explain more clearly what u feel. If your friend still feel need you as friend normally they will reply. But dont have too high expectation, a reply that could satisfy yourself. Just think as long as they reply there will be a way out.
2. Make more positive thinking whenever u get a reply that hurt you more. One side have positive thinking will guide to a solution rather then two side blind and both jump into emotion.
3. Give time to rest, don't make a mail in a hurry, more then twice a day. Believe times can heal anything
4. But..... if your friend not reply your mail, more than 3 times, maybe u should prepare yourself. Your relationship will change. Its ok if you give up, you aren't the one who should responsible for ur friendship. If your friend not appreciate what both of you have before, let them go. Stop sending mail n begging, or blame yourself, stop crying, u deserve to be happy. Its ok if u have devil thinking to help you out from this hard situation like " your friend only use u when they need" hahaha.
Coz if u continue to send mail.... they will insult you
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