Thursday, March 25, 2010

Too tired for breathing.... could I stop?

This sky was dark grey,
thunder storm came too much,
rain also never stop
the sun dont want to show up their bright

It was cold here
it was so dark too,
the body cant stop tremble
while the heart freeze
these hand couldnt grasp anything
even only to make it warm a little

But who care about that weak body
she is nothing, not an important people
she just standing alone in the dark
no one care about her pain or her hurt
no one will give her a hug to make her feel not alone

her pale face try to smile
for everyone who pass over her
they give her smile too... but no more than that
She just have a day dreaming that someday,
she could find someone who will care about her
who will understand and accompany her
wrapping her wound and make her smile
and think she is important
but its only her dream dreaming

She is shaking on her crying now...
Desperate for something that unspoken
she is mumbling something unclear
"Too tired for breathing.... could I stop?"
but she know the answer.... "who care u stop or continue? you are nothing."

Life will never so easy when no one care, life for only satisfy other need, but nothing if its about u.... so why must continue breathing if breathing will scratch the heart more and more?

Friday, March 19, 2010

I like you too much...

Do you feel strange if a friend of you that close enough for you say that? What will you think about it? Do you think your friend seduce you? Do you think that you need make a distance from her/him since you think that they will distract your life? You never think she/he would be say like that. But do you ever have same feeling like that even unspoken. What do you think what her/his reason talked it to u.

Some people are more honest with their feeling, and sometime it hard to hide it longer. When they have a relationship, and they think its really close to their heart. They feel its really nice could talk with someone else about the many things, have same idea, got some help when they need, help them to smile in their blue day, get some caring feeling also feel could trust. What you think if then they say I like you too much? Its difficult to find someone that really could touch your heart, isn't it? Would you want that the one you adore know that you like her/him too much and hope she /he know if sometimes you make mistake unintentionally they will forgive u?

I like you too much.. its not always a feeling for want to have someone. But its a feeling that will show you really happy with your relationship, care feeling, include accept all the weakness. As a normal person, You will never have a clear idea when you like or dislike someone. But you really know, when you like someone, you will give them more attention, as an example, if you didn't talk with the one u like for quite so long, you will send any caring message, to let them know that you think of them. Or when u like someone, you will want to know them better, or if maybe she/he make a mistake you wont judge them, only stand beside and support them. Also when you see he/she get a happiness you will happy for that. Its a nice feeling for some people that you feel special, and not for all people you meet. I like you too much, even make you a little bit crazy, because even you could accept and understand what she/he did, whenever when you see it in other person you will really hate it. It looks like totally accept she/he in good side and bad side also. But in other side, when you talk about that, you really want her/him understand, that you adore them too much, indeed sometimes wait them give you a little care by not ignore your presence in their life.

Sometimes, that words no need to speak on purpose, when both of you have the same thinking. May be you ever have a friend that always say, "Heyyy, I really like you too much". But sure you know it doesn't mean that he want you to be his girl friend, because you discuss much about his future wife, indeed, and you never bothered when heard this. You know he like u as his friend, someone that he feel comfort to talk with, and he could trust you and get your support anytime.

But sure the relationship not work on both side. You feel really close but maybe your friend just feel you are the same with all friend that she/he has. When you really dying want to know how he/she is right now, maybe they never remember you at all. The way you look at she/he are different with the way she/he look at you. Maybe they think your care a little bit annoying, make she/he feel uncomfortable with. Even maybe your words to show that you really care by saying "I like you too much" even more strange. Its really upset episode if what you guess wrong, they never understand you as you try to understand her/him. So if it happen to you, maybe the words I like you too much need to say it on purpose, just to know that you need to stop hoping they will give you a little care, even in a small thing. You really need to realize that both of you have different feeling, so never hope too much that you will get the same as you gave.

For you that ever feel strange with this words when your friend said it to you, maybe you need not judge your friend in a hurry. I like you too much not always means he/she want you to be his girl friend/her boy friend except your recognition in his/her presence in your life as they think you are their precious one. Just think, maybe someday you will realize that she/he is your best friend that you never have.

write it when I wish there is someone who aware I am alive or dying

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

When Life is So Hard

Have you ever feel this way? Life is so hard for u? Like we find no way to run or just to continue your way? When your smile in your lips not come deeply from your heart? When happy feeling is the most expensive thing that you ever had?

Yes, for some people, happiness is difficult to get, they have it only in short term period in their life, and mostly of their life full of fighting, like never ending fight without a good result. Problems come like rain drops, make our body wet, even when it start to dry, the rain comes again and again. No wonder, some of them have different reaction how to handle their problem. Some people could bare it because they have it every time in their life, and problem that comes by even make them stronger, but otherwise other people drown into depression.

People need help when they were in problem. But not always they have what they need. When they need a hug, they only have pillow in their bed to hug, when they need a shoulder to cry on, they only find a hidden side on one room to cry, when they need a hand that can hold them tight to make them not slip, they only find an old rope that even will be broken when they try to hold in. Finding no one who care in life make it worse. Not many people could afford for being so lonely in life. Even they try to give all their support to around when other need it, but other not give it back. Life will feel so pity.

Someone that you believe you can trust and share than leave you alone. You understand, thats all matter about time and changing preferences. Never ever you hope someone to stay forever beside you in your good time or bad time. Even for you they already occupied some place in your heart, feeling so close, being blind with whatever they did to you, only remember his/her kindness only. Waiting him/her just like a fool, when You hope some miracle come and hoping they could understand what really you are. You trying to make she/he know that your feeling even nothing as long as they do not leave you alone. Thats situation make your world harder than before.

Unstoppable learning in life, your acceptance in every problem you face it, make your problem as your friend will not change your life become so easy. But it really help you to move on. Sadness isn't the crime, but when you always hold your sadness you wouldnt see in if happiness almost come to your life. Being alone is not the end of the world, just remember if you ever struggle in your life alone and still alive, so u could understand being alone won't kill you. Miracle may be come to your life, when she/he finally know your pure of your heart, but believe it, miracle is rare to happen, so never hope it too much.

Happiness is all that people want in their life, but if it dont come in your life just dont expect too much, because it could hurt you too. Just make whatever that come to your life right know as your friend, try to dancing with them, in hurt, in pain, in sad, in loneliness, because you know it, it won't kill you anyway.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Let your heart behind

Sometimes life using heart just annoyed for some people. Changing mood so easily from happy too sad. When we couldn't get what you want to have, will make us desperate so badly. If it happen we could guess, our day start ruin in every way. We couldn't do anything well, because did it only with half of our heart.

Some people get this ruin heart when they find only one side love, or feeling abandon, no one care. It throw them in loneliness. This kind of feeling really distract our life a lot. And one time they couldn't control their feeling, darkness life will be with them. It feels like no sun shine anymore.

So what we must do? I just share my experience even it not always suitable for anyone. I always feel like that since I was teenager, dont ask me why ;). That time I only keep all pain, make my brain busy and write all thing to release your burden. If you have a friend you could trust, just share with them, but we know it always hard to find a friend both we can trust and not judging. Same as me even I have many friend, but really no one knew me fully. Because I don't dare to tell about what happen in my self completely with one friend even I feel desperate too much.

Sometime this heart problem come from our relationship with others. Please be brave to speak frankly, I know sometimes it wont give a good result for us, but at least it make some burden in your heart lift. Don't forget to ask an apologize and let your friend knew, you need it to cure your heart. By talking with people we have heart problem with, it will help you if u have a negative thinking, or could stop your day dreaming.

About feeling abandon also lack of care, just don't ask too much, if you not get what you need, just accept it. We know, nothing can change this situation faster if it already happen years, if you could face it in years before, think it that u will be fine in your years ahead. Thats true, it will make us unhappy sometimes, thats why I will tell you, LET YOUR HEART BEHIND if its all about yourself, try to make your brain busy to think, you make many physically activity in your days rather than your feeling. I know, its really empty, but it will help you not ruin your life. Even our life couldn't say as a happy life, but at least it won't make u drown into sadness, and won't make your life worse day by day.

write it when I thought I must back to my life as before... busy to think dont bother with love or care, so I could move on

Thursday, March 11, 2010

You Just Perfect for Me

In our life, we never stop to find something that we think perfect. Sometimes we feel we find something that good enough for us but when the time passed by we finally find their weakness. When we feel disappointed and feel can't accept it, then we try to find a new one.

It happen in anything, not just a thing, but maybe in friendship. We meet someone that we can talk a lot for long and feel happy when talking with her/him. But as time passed by, we find it that she/he have many that will make us think that she/he is not the perfect one.

For example; after a long talk with her/him we realize that even she/he is someone we feel comfort to talk with, but she or he not good enough in appearance. You feel shy when you go out together with her. So you think better you find out the one that we could comfortable to talk with also have a good appearance as well. Yeah, nothing wrong with that, but do you ever think, you must be gamble with your luck to find that, it would be take times to find it, and the result still questionable. And while you try to find the new one you ignore what you have right now. Maybe he/she have a wide heart, they always forgive you when u abandoned him/her, but don't you think you have scratch their heart anyway?

Or maybe, you have a sweet friend, not only handsome or beautiful but really good friend. She always care for you, maybe too care, sending you many message. First of all you just feel happy for her/his care, but then you realize that it so annoying receive message anytime. You feel like she/he bother you a lot. Then you start to think find another friend that care enough but not bother you indeed.

We are human that never satisfy with anything. But never you just sit down thinking about it carefully

You Just perfect for me
Never think about other talk about your appearance
because they never know that you could make me laugh when I am in tears
They also never know that you never leave me feel lonely with your friendly message
And she/he always happy to share anything with me even I already lose from her/his world for so long
They never know that even I felt I have make her/him disappointed but they still say 'dont worry about that, I am always happy when talk to you, that's enough for me'

You just perfect for Me
even though I feel you habit so annoying, but I just realize that's the way to show you care
I never have it from anyone such form as caring,
I only could try hard to understand that you do that coz you think I deserve for that

You just perfect for me
because you are my friend
you just perfect for me
because I know you put your warm heart in our friendship
You just perfect for me
Coz I knew U also could accept my weakness
You just perfect for me
Because we both not perfect but try to accept it in anyway

write this when I felt I am not prefect but I always feel you just perfect, hope anyone who know me accept my weakness

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...