Only Hope... someday this world will give me smile

Everyone has a hope to have a happy life. Therefore, life would never be so easy. Some dream we really want so much just end as a hope only. We never know when it will become a real, or maybe it wont come forever. We just try our best but only God will drift us to our destiny.

Sometimes, I remember my past, when I was in college. I had a big bear doll to accompany me, when I need a hug and place to share I talked to the doll. Yeah, indeed i have a few good friends, but sometimes we cant share all the thing to them and prefer to keep it by ourself. That time I hoped, someday I would meet someone who I could share all about me and someone who could give me a tight hug when I need.

But... today I really missed my doll very much and the feeling when I hug it with all hope in my future. I was lucky in my life, no one who close to me could give me hug when I need. No one could wipe my tear and I could share about all my worried. Yeah its only left as hope. I hope too much, like a fairy tale.

many times I always told myself not to hope too much. Life weren't a novel or a movie story. Many hard times that we need to keep by our own, even you can't share with your best friends. Try to accept many thing only left as our hope.. our sweet dream, that couldn't be happen in our life forever.

Life so hard.. but let other know we were OK even we cry behind. Only hope... someday this world will give me smile even i know it were impossible.

I have no power to change...

If I have power to change my world
I want you always comfort with me
Trust me in anything, more than anyone you know
I always want you smile when you remember me
Hoping all things never change even time pass by...

But sure I have no power to change my world
I only can see you run find your way
Pass a day by day...
Meet someone that make you comfort, more than I did
Even I didn't hear your story
But I could guess it, as I can feel it


You are son's of the earth
Have full freedom to choose your way
I have no power to change you as what I want
I have no right for that too

So, the only thing I can do
I give my sincerity for you
whenever you feel no one beside you
You know you can find me

You are son's of earth
I know.. you will always fine
strong enough to find anything you want
Your desire, your happiness

Sometimes I just afraid of being lonely
but sure I understand... life is a cycle
like the watch, sometimes both stick closely but sometimes apart
never can be together always

Someday maybe u will see me sitting in the corner and read a book
but, u dont know, I am watching you behind my glasses
Just make sure everything ok with you
even you never did it for me

Don't worry, I am mother of earth
always could give you smile and try to comfort you if you needed
and you dont need to do the same
This is my real world, I have no power to change it
as long as I see a happiness in you
I will be OK

Thank you for show me this pain

Thank you..
For show me the real life
that aren't always only happy side
so many thing happen in life
and those ended with tears more than laugh

Thank you for show me the part of the hardest
That I must survive in pain
That I must walk by my own, alone
That I must not hope anyone to help me

Thank you for show me a little smile
sometime I believe it could be only dream
because it look like happen in a few minutes rather than hours in a day

Thank you for make me learn
Never trust anyone even my self
when you show me, there always something you hide from me
If I know about it it will make I break into pieces
so better for you to just pretend to be nice
Even you never know... It more painful for me when know it by myself

Thank you for show me this pain
and make me walk with many wound in mine
walk by my own alone
and never trust anybody anymore
In this world when people just pretending to be kind

I'm here still breathing
Try to stand up and walk and pretend anything ok
I could hiding all hurts and smile
... thank you for show me this pain....
I will make the pain as my friend in life
no matter how many u scratched it everyday

My four walls

Today I feel comfort again
with my four walls
Will stop wanting something I don't have

Walls... dont make me feel so hot in the daylight
dont make me feel so cold in the late night
Please accompany me in whatever I do, everyday

Lately, I wish something too much
when I desperately feel lonely
but then I know, wishing too much only will hurt me more

For all friends
Even not always keep in touch
but knowing that u still remember me here
make me feel so happy

Thanks a lot for everything
I won't ask more
Only when you need a friend and u find nobody
remember me.. I will accompany you whenever u need it
I will give you my care if you want it

Now... I think everyone still feel good,
No need me beside..
so walls.. please be with me, I will share stories with u
I know... u always hear me :)
We have been together for more than 3 years
heard me when I told u happy stories and sad stories
Know what I feel always, laugh or cry
My four walls...

The party is OVER

My best day this year already end... the party is over
I had met some old friend... Its feel so great
Some friend who already separate by time and distance and finding the fate to meet again
Nice to meet u girls..
Also met a friend that I never dare to wish could meet again.
While distance so far...

I had a dream before.. after meeting we'll close as before. I will have opportunity to share my story of life like before. Not only when we met face to face but after that when the connection is limited only by virtual world.
But maybe I wish too much......

Rather than it will hurt me a lot so I decide to think my party is over....
I wont ask anything again that might made me in pain. So just let it only become a sweet memory, could talk and laugh like before... We never know when we could meet again, month, a years, 2 years, 10 years or maybe never. Even I tried to send message to keep in touch.. but seem it will be hard to have close in touch words.. will be back to just hi and how r u... but I think its still ok if u could sent it once a week. But sure.. i dont hope to much...

I believe life is full of secrets. Sometimes we try to tell the truth about your feeling to friends, they touch with your words but cant do nothing. We must accept every thing that happen in our life rather than try to against them. So the first thing we must realize every time u got such a big gift of happiness...u wont have it for every time. It must be a turn to get your bitterness. because life always like that.

Thanks a lot my friends for your wonderful time u shared with me.. I must awake now and back to reality my small world that have walls as border, and silence surround. Yeah my party is OVER.